D'oh!

Original story: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-11998648

A Rare Treat

The geek in me likes WWE and all things pro wrestling so this out of character interview with The Undertaker after UFC 121 would be special even without the confrontation with Brock.



original source: http://www.examiner.com/pro-wrestling-in-flint/undertaker-lesnar-exchange-words-are-ufc-fight-video-inside

Cheers,
R.

Warning: May Contain Nuts!

I saw this recently and had to post it as the most idiot proof warning since nut allergy warnings on peanuts. Well done BBC.
Cheers,
R.

Keep watching this space!

As with all amazing genius types (ahem.) I'm having some serious writer's blog at the moment. Rather than write endless half-baked opinion pieces I've opted to go a bit quiet while I get the creativity flowing again. Don't worry dear readers there's plenty of exciting things to come. In the mean time follow @reverandglass on Twitter and you'll never miss a post!
Cheers,
R.

An Appeal To Console Makers

There's an episode in The Simpsons where Homer gets to design his ideal car, "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?" to be precise, and it all goes horribly wrong and bankrupts his brother Herb. This is clearly nothing like that and so I appeal to all console manufacturererers out there (and Sega and Atari too. Come on guys you can do another one!) to please make this awesome idea as your next console.

Ok, so I'm one of these people who can do anything better than the people already doing it. I even professed to that in an earlier post: http://cracking-glass.blogspot.com/2010/06/you-know-your-job-i-could-do-it-better.html. For a while now I've been working on an idea for my ideal games console. As well as being awesome it will also solve a few of the industry's problems too.

Firstly I thought I'd tackle the controller. It's important for the controller to be damn near faultless as this is the bit that the user will be clinging to for hours on end. If it wasn't for 3D gaming and the need for analogue sticks I'd be stealing the SNES pad in it's entirety but as it is I'll use that as a starting point. The L and R buttons are great and the way they curl slightly around the edge of the pad is nice. The Start and Select buttons win for me too as they need a definite press to work and can't be accidently bumped like Xbox 360's start. The D-pad is still a magical blister making machine but no-one's made a better D-pad since unless you like fighting pads but I don't. For triggers you need to strike a balance between an easy button press and a full trigger. The PS3 registers the press soon enough but is otherwise not great and the 360's triggers travel too far before they kick in. In essence I want the 360 pad to change it's clutch so it bites sooner. As for analogue sticks I've never been a connoisseur so anything will do. The 360's are a bit stiffer than the PS3's but are a bit smoother. The most important thing is placement. In my ideal world controllers must be symmetrical. That places the sticks below and in a bit from the face buttons and D-pad. 4 face buttons all analogue and fancy like on PS2 and the sticks should have L3 and R3 too.
That leaves the menu button like the xbox or ps buttons. Put it in the middle and leave it nice and simple. Wrap all this up with a Bluetooth transmitter and an internal battery which lets me stretch my spare fingers across the back and bob's your uncle.

Next up we need the console itself. I need my ideal console to be a lovely combination of form and function. It needs to sit near the TV and both blend in and jump out at the same time.

Over the years there's been some highs and lows in console design, the original xbox and NES at the low end, but in the end so long as it does the job it's not to important how it looks.

In the end it needs to have a place for games to go and all the usual sockets for cables and stuff. So, 4 USB sockets, 2 USB 3.0 sockets, 1 Ethernet port, 1 optical output, 1 HDMI socket and 1 A/V component output and at least 1TB of hard drive. As for the technical stuff on the inside I'll leave that up to the super developer who makes my console. I would assume a super next generation high power spec capable of running stuff more powerful than Crysis 2.

That leaves the most controversial part of my plan. The Games. For my ideal console the games themselves who be on cartridges. That's right, cartridges! The main reason consoles switched to disc based media is profit margins. CD's, DVD's and blu-rays are much cheaper than the solid state memory needed for cartridges but they are much easier to pirate. Cartridge based games would benefit from faster load times, flexibility with regards to capacity and other special perks like on board games saves and be able to store patches and DLC. Of course you could store these things on the console's hard drive but the option is there.

So that's it. SNES shoulders and D-pad and Start / Select, Xbox 360 triggers and sticks, PS2 face buttons, PS3 battery and Bluetooth for the pad. All the best tech for the machine and cartridges for games. But wait there's more...!

Firmware, is the curse of all modern consoles and as such it would need to be damn near perfect for my ideal system. I would want a quick and easy to navigate menu system that would allow the user to access games, videos, social features and online content from one place and without hassle. None of the current consoles do these things well enough. My console should feature a veritable best of of the features offered by Xbox Live as well as PSN and most importantly would allow online multiplayer for free. Video playback should allow for any codec to be installed and offer HD playback either from streaming, downloads or external media. Audio should offer the same as well as allowing music playback during games and cross game chat.
Unfortunately the intricacies of great firmware would take up way too much space but if any developer wants to take me up on building the best console ever I'll gladly help sort the firmware too!

So come on Microsoft, Sony, Nintendo, Sega, Atari, Amiga, Panasonic? Take me up on my idea for the greatest console EVER and make my dream come true.
Cheers,

R.

Movies:

There's no point in me offering up the "10 best films of all time" because simply googling (that's right googling not yahooing or binging) that phrase will give you a far more informed list than I could offer. Instead here are 10 films that, good, bad or otherwise, are most definitely worth your time.

1. Pan's Labyrinth - Directed by Guillermo del Torro
In the bleak setting of fascist Spain in 1944, living with a harsh and quite simply evil stepfather who is also an army captain, Ofelia is a young girl who discovers a fantasy world full of hope and adventure. Pan's Labyrinth is both a gritty tale of resistance in war torn Spain and a pure fantasy tale full of strange and memorable characters. It's a film I saw shortly after it's release but the power of the story and it's characters stays with me still. Pan's Labyrinth is not a happy Disney fairytale but don't let that put you off.

2. Videodrome - Directed by David Cronenberg
David Cronenberg is my all time favourite film director because of this film. I am so completely sold on his work that this entry was very nearly for Crash. Ultimately I chose Videodrome for the strong effect it had on me and the importance of the message it carries. Max Renn is a cable-tv producer of the look out for new material who stumbles upon Videodrome, a sadistic game-show that uses real graphic violence and torture. It quickly becomes and obsession for him and as he finds out more about the show he finds himself drawn into a much more dangerous reality than the show could ever depict. Cronenberg uses Videodrome to comment on how technology effects and corrupts people, something he did again in eXistenZ and Crash, in a stylistic and visceral way that needs to be seen. While his later works on the subject are also great Videodrome is the original and, in my opinion, best.

3. Rec - Directors Jaume Balagueró and Paco Plaza
Remade as Quarantine and ruined. Rec tells the story of a tv crew following a local team of firefighters for the evening, think along the lines of The One Show or similar, who get drawn into a nightmare. Shot on a single handheld camera exactly as you would expect from a small tv outside broadcast unit the crew and the firefighters find themselves quarantined (see what the remake did there?) in an apartment block where strange and terrifying things are happening. It's a great example of horror done properly and is worth seeing if only to keep money out of the hands of the makers of Quarantine which manages to become nonsense despite being re-shot virtually scene by scene.

4. Run Lola Run - Directed by Tom Tykwer
You have 20 minutes to get 100,000 Deutsche Marks to save the life of your boyfriend. What would you do?
Run Lola Run shows what Lola tries 3 times each one showing a bit more of the world around her and how her actions affect the people she comes across. Franka Potente is great as Lola and cuts a unique figure with her bright red hair. Each of the 3 runs has a different outcome for all concerned and the ultimate payoff will bring a smile to your face. If you have never seen a subtitled film Run Lola Run is a great place to start.

5. Hot Fuzz - Directed by Edgar Wright
The second film in the "Blood and Ice Cream Trilogy" from the Wright, (Simon) Pegg and (Nick) Frost creative team surpasses the first by virtue of not having a rom-com sub plot. Now I love Shaun of the Dead so I'm not being critical but I am a bloke and I do enjoy a good buddy movie, action flick. With all the comedic genius of Wright, Pegg and Frost and the bombast of films you might expect from Michael Bay or Jerry Bruckheimer you have to be a very harsh critic not to enjoy Hot Fuzz. Who wouldn't love a cop drama set in a Gloucestershire village?

6. The Crow - Directed by Alex Proyas
This gothic cult classic would not be anywhere near as important if not for the tragedy that befell the movie during filming. Brandon Lee, son of Bruce Lee and a rising star at the time, died as the result of an accidental shooting on set. The fact this would be his last film makes the tragic tale of lovers separated by violence all the more poignant. While it suffers slightly from being a bit dated these days the style and direction is still as solid as ever. If you haven't seen The Crow or you don't know the story behind it then you really should go and buy the dvd watch both the film and the extras which include Brandon Lee's last interview before his death.

7. Resident Evil: Degeneration - Directed by Makoto Kamiya
The Resident Evil series of games brought survival horror to the masses like no games before them. To that end a whole generation of gamers were excited to hear a live action film was being made and then disappointed when it turned out shite. Degeneration goes some way to put that right by sticking to the cannon of the games and by bringing back two of the game's better known characters Leon Kennedy and Claire Redfield. Set 7 years after the events of the second game, a year after we last saw Leon in Resident Evil 4, the two protagonists find themselves caught in the midst of yet another outbreak. If you haven't played the games and are currently bored and or confused don't worry, Resident Evil: Degeneration stands alone as a great zombie flick.

8. Sunset Boulevard - Directed by Billy Wilder
This one is a classic. It's a black and white 1950 film noir. It's often cited as one of the most noteworthy films of American cinema. Deemed "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant" by the U.S. Library of Congress in 1989, Sunset Boulevard was included in the first group of films selected for preservation in the National Film Registry. What's more is it tells a compelling tale of a failed screen writer drawn into the fantasy world of a fading star as she plans her grand comeback. As with all films of this caliber you owe it to yourself to make time for it, dim the lights, open a bottle of wine and let the twisted glamour of 1950 wash over you.

9. Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 - Directed by Joe Berlinger
The Blair Witch Project was an instant horror classic. It's low budget shaky footage created a myth so believable, thanks to a great publicity campaign, many people actually believed. Working within the universe the first film created and treating it as real Book of Shadows is the fictional movie based on the real events of the fictional events in the first film. Get it? No? Don't worry. Book of Shadows is a cheap and dirty, no brain-er of a cash in that doesn't deserve to be held in the same light as the original but it is a decent and creepy horror worth a look.

10. Battle Royale Directors Cut - Directed by Finji Fukasaku
"At the dawn of the millennium, the nation collapsed. At fifteen percent unemployment, ten million were out of work. 800,000 students boycotted school. The adults lost confidence and, fearing the youth, eventually passed the Millennium Educational Reform Act, AKA the BR Act...."
A class of school children are transported to an island, fitted with explosive collars and given random weapons. The idea is that they fight to the death until only one remains. Battle Royale depicts the panic, terror, sadistic pleasure and desperation that ensues. The directors cut includes extra footage that I believe helps make some of the supporting characters more human and as such should be the version you watch. It's a great film that you will spend the weeks after viewing asking yourself, "what would I do?"

Cheers,
R.

A Bright New Beginning

Nothing says arrogance like someone telling you what to think. When it's some random nobody at the other end of a web site it's even worse so, just for you cos you're lovely, here's the beginning of my new regular feature:

 

Oh Yeah! Comes with a sexy banner too!
Ok, so first up is Books. Books are good and without the following 10 you're life is missing a level of fulfillment that will allow hipsters to laugh at you. Armed with these 10 books and the eye-strain that will come from reading them you'll be a better person. So, in no particular order:

1. 1984 by George Orwell
Seriously, everyone should read 1984 by the time they're 18. It should be on the curriculum at school if only so you actually know where Big Brother came from before it was a TV show and you understand what doublespeak is. Besides being the source of many a song lyric or buzz phrase it's a good story too about forbidden love and betrayal. In fact if you haven't read it yet go and buy a copy NOW!

2. Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk
Better known for Fight Club, Chuck Palahniuk is a masterful author with a depraved imagination. Haunted is the most twisted, depraved and corrupting novel I've ever experienced. This is not a book for anyone under the age of 18. Telling the tale of a group of writers and telling the stories they write under extreme circumstances Haunted pushes the boundaries of what's acceptable to breaking point. A point the author references himself in the afterword. No other media could tell this story and for that reason alone Haunted makes the list.

3. A Philosophical Investigation by Philip Kerr
Set in the near future and telling the story of a serial killer who kills other potential serial killers based on a test which shows an abnormality in the brains of all people capable of serial murder. Told from the point of view of the anti hero and the detective pursuing him it's a gripping thriller which calls into question the fundamental beliefs of right and wrong.

4. Night Watch by Sergey Lukyanenko
Forget the film and read Night Watch. The epic struggle between light and dark has reached a stalemate and is held in a fragile truce by the Night Watch, forces for the light who police the night, and the Day Watch, forces for the dark who police the day. As ever in these situation events conspire to disrupt the balance and as this trilogy begins (followed by Day Watch and Twilight Watch) we are introduced to the players in this epic saga and watch as the delicate balance begins to crumble. It's not the most accessible universe to get into even before the idiosyncrasies of Russian life become factors but it's well worth the effort.

5. World War Z by Max Brooks
10 years after the Zombie War, a cataclysmic struggle between man and the undead of course, Max Brooks travels the world to compile an oral history from those that were there. The book reads like fact and tells the stories of many individuals chronicling the war from the earliest outbreak to the final days. It's been 4 years since I read WWZ but I still well up every-time I think back to some of the tales of survival. There is a movie in the works, but 1) don't hold your breath it was meant to be out this year but is taking much longer to come to life and 2) it cannot do justice to the book as there's just too much to cover. There's love, horror, comedy, tragedy and more. There is something for everyone here but if you're a fan of zombies you'll be in heaven.

6. Tricks Of The Mind by Derren Brown
Whether you're a fan of Derren Brown or not this book will have something to interest you. It's a mix of autobiography and instructional manual telling both how he came to be a mentalist, mind reading, devil spawn (ok, that's a bit extreme) and how you too can sell you soul for mind powers! (again not true). It's a good read and will no doubt encourage you to set up a memory mansion and start trying to count cards.

7. Born On A Blue Day by Daniel Tammet
An autobiography by a high-functioning autistic savant may not sound like a great read but I promise you won't be able to put it down. Few things are more inspiring or life affirming than seeing a person overcome adversity, especially when that person is just a nice guy like Tammet.

8. A Long Way Down by Nick Hornby
If you've seen any of the film adaptations or read any of his other novels then you'll know Nick Hornby's style. A Long Way Down tells the story of 4 strangers with nothing in common except the fact they all meet on the same rooftop one new years eve ready intending to kill themselves. As their immensely personal plans are disrupted by their meeting they band together to try and get through their problems one day at a time. Told from the perspective of the for main characters some events are seen several times and in several ways each with the humanity and humour you'd expect from Hornby.

9. The Bible
Regardless of your religious beliefs or lack there of the bible makes for a fascinating read. More than any other written work this book has influenced life in the world today, especially here in the uk, so you really should at least dip into it to see why. If you regard it as pure fiction the bible tells one hell of a story or two and will arm you with all the tools you need for a theological argument down the pub.

10. The Holy Blood And The Holy Grail by Michael Baigent, Richard Liegh and Henry Lincoln
By now most of us have read or seen The Da Vinci Code. The pivotal plot point in that tale is the assertion that Jesus, yup the star of The Bible, didn't die on the cross and in fact had a family and blood line that lives on to this very day. This is the book where Dan Brown got his idea, although definitely not in a plagiarism way - more a copy bits of a book no-one remembers and hope no-one notices kinda way. The authors work back from the present day to the time of Jesus exploring the very real possibilities of "what if?" It's an intriguing read that will shed light on Medieval Europe, The Knights Templar, The Vatican and the heresies that could be closer to the teachings of Jesus than Catholicism.

Cheers,
R.

Side One, Track One

Praise be to Sweet Zombie Jeebus! Thank Godaroo! After a week of being unable to form this article I've had a "Eureka!" moment. Unlike Archimedes I wasn't in the bath, (nor was I changing the world with my discovery but hey) I was playing some riffs on my guitar and started playing Sleepflower by Manic Street Preachers. It's the opening track to their second album, Gold Against The Soul, and begins with a lone guitar playing and infectious riff that sets the theme for the track. After a couple of repetitions it's joined by the bass playing the same and Sean Moore's typical tub thumping and the track comes to life. As an album opener it is one of my favourites as it never fails to get the volume cranked up and my head bobbing. As with most tracks on this list it's not the best by the band but it is a great example of the phenomenon that is the "side one, track one."

All albums need to start somewhere, somehow and the choice of first track sometimes be the difference between an album's residency on your ipod and being confined to the back of the cupboard with cassette singles from the '90's. As with all music there's no rules. Some great first track begin with a bang, some whimper into life, some just start and some don't exist at all. Before I continue I want to share some notable exceptions to the rule, great album, shit opener. Frankly anything that labels Track 1 "Intro" falls into this category just for being pointless (eg. Limp Bizkit - Significant Other) to feeling like it was cut from a track to create a single (Muse - Absolution). An "Intro" track just means none of the real songs on your album have enough impact to grab attention or that you're more worried about the singles than the album as a whole. The other type of exception is when a fully fledged opening track just doesn't cut the mustard. Finelines by My Vitriol is an amazing album but is begins with an instrumental track which builds into first track proper, Always: Your Way, (Smashing Pumpkins's Meloncholy And The Infinite Sadness does the same) and as such stunts the appeal of that track. In both examples the first track is very good and enjoyable but only really works in context and as such cannot be considered for this list.

So to the list. I have chosen 10 notable examples of what I consider to be great album openers. There are better tracks out there by these artists but as the first track to the album they grace the grab your attention, set the mood and give you a taste of what to expect. So fire up your music source of choice, find these tracks and enjoy:

1. "Awakening" by The Reasoning from Awakening
The album is a modern prog rock odyssey and this opener sets you up brilliantly. Initially sounding like an extract from Tubular Bells you'll have to wait 20 seconds or so before the over-driven guitars and melodic riffing begins. About 1 minute in the vocals start and you'll begin to see where this is going. Clocking in at 6:49 it's quite and opening statement for any album let alone a debut but as it weaves it's way through various styles it won't disappoint. At 4:22 we're treated to a true welsh rock solo which could easily belong to our next band....
2. "Sleepflower" by Manic Street Preachers from Gold Against The Soul
As I said before this is the track that switched on the light-bulb for this article. If the opening riff isn't enough to hook you then James Dean Bradfield in full rock mode will. It's not the most well regarded track from the album, over shadowed by La Tristesse Durera (Scream to a Sigh), but it is a worthy opener containing as it does all the elements of the album to come and seamlessly setting up single From Despair To Where.
3. "Everyone's At It" by Lily Allen from It's Not Me, It's You
Ms Allen's thoughts on drug abuse open her second album and does so in style. Splashy cymbals and a constant kick drum on 8th beats fade in with rising sirens and a simple vocal melody that promises something special. If you know Lily Allen's work then you'll not be surprised by the rest of the track which stands up strongly against the three singles the follow.
4. "Showdown" by Pendulum from In Silico
The third opener from a difficult sophomore album in this case begins with the same splashy cymbals and driving kicks of the last track but with Rob Swire's vocal from the off. As it builds, layer by layer, a solid drum and bass influenced rocker emerges and sets up what proved to be a divisive album for fans. Regardless of what your opinion is Showdown makes this list for it's no nonsense approach that just gets things rolling.
5. "Pornography For Cowards" by Million Dead from A Song To Ruin
Who needs intros? For a their debut album Million Dead simple play the blister riff from the opener twice and scream. In less than 10 seconds you'll be rushing as if down the first big hill on a rattling, old roller-coaster...in and earthquake...headed straight to hell. And what a roller-coaster it is. At 30 seconds you're soring towards daylight again, 1:00 and you're rushing around corners build speed before the beginning of the end at 1:27 as you hurtle inevitably towards a wall. It's a musical rush that blows away the cobwebs and encourages you to "gird up your loins" ready for what follows.
6. "Needled 24/7" by Children Of Bodom from Hate Crew Deathroll
As with all power metal there's a lot going on from the opening chord stabs and any song the offers a solo within 20 seconds is a winner in my book, but what qualifies this for my list is it's accessibility. Children Of Bodom are hardly the most listener friendly of bands but the opener for their forth album is a catchy tour de force which will encourage you to dance along in a similar way to the best Dragonforce tracks. Not bad going for a band named after a triple murder from 1960.
7. "You Held the World In Your Arms" by Idlewild from The Remote Part
When your first track on the album is going to be a single and contains anthemic guitars, strings, driving drums and drunken shout along lyrics then you don't need an intro. A simple snare hit prepares you for the opening riff which hits full force and starts an album made by a band at the height of their powers. Three of the album's four singles are the first three tracks and this punchy start gives you everything you need except a chance to adjust the volume.
8. "Torn" by Creed from My Own Prison
When beginning an introspective album such as this bombast isn't necessarily right. There's no need to raise the pulse or get people dancing and the opening arpeggios of "Torn" do precisely the opposite. Scott Stapp's mournful vocals cut through beautifully as the track gets going and the grungy guitars reassure you that there's rock to come. By the time the track strips back to those arpeggios for the outro you'll be in no doubt what you are listening to and probably be nestled into a comfy chair clutching your favourite teddy.
9. "Did You Miss Me?" by The Cooper Temple Clause from See This Through And Leave
If you could capture the sound of my tinnitus it would be something close to the high note that rings through the first 2 minutes of this schizophrenic, electronic, noisy bastard of a track. It's got a face only a mother can love and will leave you feeling uncomfortable and slightly shaken before you realise it's actually a friend for life if only you can get past the hideousness of it all.
10. "Invaders Must Die" by The Prodigy from Invaders Must Die
If you're going to start an album with the title track it had better be a doozy. If you are a band going back to your roots it's doubly important. A simple bass riff fades in and after 49 seconds it hits. All the classic elements are there and any apprehension fades away as the music brings you up almost as much as the drugs (that you are most definitely not on!)

There you have it, 10 great tracks that begin varying quality albums that range from good to amazing. Have a listen and see what you think.
Cheers,
R.

Writer's Block

In my head there is two novels and a complete fantasy history for the first 100 years of a human colony on Mars. There's also the apology I owe my ex and the words I need to say to the girl who broke my heart. There's also an article extolling the virtues of the side one, track one - first song on an album. It's all there in thought and in feelings but won't come out. The big problem is that words come out one at a time. This is a problem made worse when typing and forcing words to come out a letter at a time. In my head they all want to burst into life all at once and finding a way to make those words come out in any coherent sense feels like a bigger challenge than climbing Everest.

One may climb a mountain one step at a time but it doesn't matter what order those steps go in. My writing won't get far without finding the right order and as such I've become somewhat backed up. If only there was an Ex-Lax for thoughts.
Cheers,
R.

Oh for a time machine...

Back in 2002 there was a little known function built into some mobile phones call Bluetooth. To put this into perspective this was at the same time that mobiles with a 4 colour screen were cutting edge and wap was the nearest thing to internet any phone could offer. Now Bluetooth had been around for nearly a decade already but it hadn't made it as a well known product. 2002 was a time for change in the world of mobile phones. Monochrome was replace by colour and the first camera phones, BTCellnet became O2 and One2One became T-Mobile, Sony and Ericsson started a joint venture and became Sony Ericsson and were in a prime position to make Bluetooth the must have function in mobile phones. When use of a handheld phone while driving was outlawed the following year sales of Bluetooth handsfree devices shot up as people started looking for the best ways around the ban. Then when Sony announced the Playstation 3 in 2005 sure enough Bluetooth was the wireless connection of choice for controller and accessories.
That brings me up to date. While I've obviously not mentioned every step along the way it's clear to me that Bluetooth has gone from being an obscure function on some mobile phone made by a struggling manufacturer to something in almost every new mobile and many other devises. Even as I type I have a Bluetooth dongle in the side of my laptop (allowing my wireless mouse to work) and I'm controlling the video I'm watching with the single greatest gadget ever!

The Best Thing Since Sliced Bread!

Yup, a remote control. But unlike any other remote I have this one uses Bluetooth to talk to the PS3. That means I don't have to wave my arms around trying to make sure I've got line of sight, I don't have to move things out the way of some little sensor or anything like that. My magical Bluetooth remote, that's how it works by the way: magic, means I can look at what button I want to press and press it. I can point the remote backwards or even leave the room with it as I pause a movie, skip a song or do whatever. It's such a mini liberation that I was disappointed that my new HD TV didn't use Bluetooth, it feels like a step backwards to point a remote at the device I want to control. Jeez it's just so uncouth.
So what's my point, why do I want a time machine? Well, unlike some other inventions or technologies Bluetooth has slowly but surely grown into something that every home has and no doubt will continue to be adopted into more and more devices. With my time machine my 2002 self would have purchased some shares in that fledgling tech. Why not just exploit the lottery you ask?Well, investing in Bluetooth and the Smurfs that make it work would earn me a modest income continually rather than a huge amount as a one off. Anyway if you're still worried about the time machine (which would definitely be Bluetooth compatible) you've missed the point!
Cheers,
R.

The Rise And Fall Of Music Monday

12 weeks ago I started the first weekly update to this blog. Music Monday was to be my way of sharing my favourite lesser known bands with you all and for 10 weeks I delivered everything from hardcore punk to hip hop. Unfortunately for two weeks now I've let you down. There's two reasons for this: firstly I started to struggle to find quality artists to recommend and secondly I simple ran out of time on the the Monday's in question. Fear not music fans for Music Monday is not dead. Starting next week it's back and, hopefully, better than ever. For now here's a quick look back at the bands featured and reverandglass's pick for their best tracks:

Week 1 - Cats:For:Peru "Love in a Lift"
Week 2 - Gay For Johnny Depp "Shh, Put the shiv to my throat!"
Week 3 - Foxy Shazam "Wannabe Angel"
Week 4 - The Wake Effect "Ten Things to do if I Live"
Week 5 - The Pretty Reckless "Make Me Wanna Die"
Week 6 - Burn Before Reading "Markers"
Week 7 - My Vitriol "Falling off the Floor"
Week 8 - The Arkhams "She's Lost Control"
Week 9 - Fucked Up "Looking for God"
Week 10 - Cee Lo Green "Fuck You"

Well it's been an interesting 10 weeks and hopefully you'll check back next week to see the rebirth of Music Monday. In the mean time I'll leave you with a mini post for who should have featured in week 11:

There are few pieces of music, in the grand scheme of things, that are guaranteed to make the hairs stand up on the back of you next, that get the blood pumping in your veins faster than before, that make you want to get out of your seat and save the world. For me there are two pieces in particular that never fail to have that effect and the fact they both appear in the same movie just emphasises the point. The movie in question is Kick Ass and the composer John Murphy. You may not have heard of John Murphy, he's certainly not the household name John Williams is, but you'll probably know his work. If you've seen 28 Days Later, Sunshine or Kick Ass you'll be familiar with his soaring scores and even if you've missed all those amazing films you're bound to have seen Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels or Snatch. So for now it may be the end of Music Monday as we know it but turn the volume up and just enjoy Adagio in D Minor.
Cheers,
R.

New Look

Time for a change methinks so thanks to the magic of html, css and java I have a new look and a few new toys. Don't worry the same amazing level of insightful content will continue!
Cheers,
R.

Pre Owned Games are a Good Thing!

There has been an unpleasant development in the world of gaming in recent months that is threatening to change the way we look at games. While the console war rages on unabated publishers and developers have drawn their own battle lines ready to engage you and I, the humble gamer, should we dare to buy second hand.
The pre owned market for games has been around for as long as there have been home systems to play them on and in austere times such as these it's growing. Just recently Tesco announced they will start taking trade in games , after a successful trial, joining the likes of Asda, Game, Blockbuster and Hmv. The trade in / pre owned market is clearly something retailers like the idea of and judging by the online forums, and my own experience, gamers think is great too. The only people who don't like the idea are the publishers. It all started with EA and "Project $10", a simple enough proposition to charge $10 for users to play online unless they enter a one time only code that comes with the game. In effect, EA want gamers who buy pre owned to pay play online. Then came THQ, Activision and Ubisoft, all with their own ideas to make buying pre owned a less attractive proposition. But no other industry does it! Why would they do this? Well, if you were to believe everything you read, buying a pre owned game takes food out of the mouths of developers children. Actual food! By not paying £45 for Modern Warfare 2 you're actually taking spaghetti o's away from poor Timmy...
The argument is simple enough: when you buy a new game the developer, publisher and retailer all get a piece of the action and everyone gets paid for the work they put in. When you buy pre owned only the retailer gets any money, so the talent involved in making the game gets nothing. This is obviously true but omits an important part of the picture, one the publishers don't want you to think about because they want their extra money. For every game purchased pre owned, every single game, there was a transaction before where the original purchaser was paid and that same purchaser gave up the right to play the game. What that means to this situation is that if I sell a copy of Fifa 10 to my friend, let's call him Bill for argument's sake, then I can no longer play that game, online or otherwise, but Bill can. The number of copies of the Fifa 10 sold by EA doesn't change, which is what they don't like, but the number of players online, using EA's servers and bandwidth and needing support etc., hasn't changed.
In essence what these publishers are saying is that if you were not the original purchaser of the game and therefore have not directly put money into their hands you can't play. They incur no extra cost thanks to the pre owned market but are seeking to charge some perceived loss. It's also important to consider the other feature of the pre owned market, one that the publishers should be embracing rather than alienating. A couple of weeks ago I bought Wet for PS3, developed by Besthesda Softworks (they of Fallout fame) and published by ZeniMax Europe Ltd. (The owner of Besthesda and others and who have yet to suggest any anti pre owned tactics). I bought Wet pre owned from Game for £9.99 for two reasons: 1) because I can't afford to pay full price for any game at the moment and 2) because Wet had mixed reviews and I didn't want to feel I'd wasted my money. At £9.99 it was just under that magic barrier where I felt it was worth the risk and as a result I now own a copy of Wet. I played that copy of Wet and thoroughly enjoyed it, in fact I went online as soon as the credits rolled to look for news of a sequel. A sequel which I'm more than likely to buy brand new as soon as it comes out. The same could be said for Borderlands, which I've also bought all the DLC for and several other games. You see what the big scary boys at EA et al seem to forget is that the more people who get their hands on a game the better. Better for the publisher, the developer, the retailer, the gamers. I've lost track of how many sequels I've bought over the years but what I do know is a significant proportion of those would not have been bought, new I may add, were it not for an initial pre owned purchase of a game I was unsure about.
So what's the solution? Clearly someone somewhere is feeling screwed or greedy and needs things fixing. Firstly, if developers are feeling short changed then they need to either find other ways of getting their work out there, Steam, Xbox Live and PSN Store all negate the pre owned problem, or they need to negotiate better deals with the publishers. Secondly, if the publishers want to sell more copies then they should reduce the cost to the consumer. £40 - £50 is a lot of money to a lot of people (but apparently not if you subscribe to Xbox Live in which case it's "nothing" according to web forums). If new games cost less then people would be more inclined to take a risk on an unknown title or, as many do, pay that bit more just to have new. We all know development costs have spiralled in recent years to that of movie budgets in some cases (Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 reportedly costing $40 -$50 million) but it isn't necessary to spend that much to make a great game, it isn't even necessary to spend that much to make AAA titles. When you consider the audience for games is growing and the chances of success hinging upon perceived value for money (as demonstrated by Braid, Flow, Flower, Limbo etc.) publishers should be more inclined to make games cheaper and get them into the hands of more and more gamers by any means possible.
I've seen people liken this situation to many other things, "Ford gets no cut of the resale of my car", but the best example would be the music industry, not least because it's structure mirrors that of the games industry quite closely. When I like a band, song, artist or whatever I tell all my friends. Quite often I'll make them a copy of a CD or send them an mp3. While this is actually piracy, far worse than resale, what often happens is my friends like the band, song, artist too and buy themselves the CD, vinyl etc. And then we all buy tickets to see them live. By sharing / spreading / disseminating the work in the first place the artist gets a larger return. It's the same with pre owned games, by allowing more people to experience the work of Naughty Dog or Bungie or Media Molecule more people are likely to buy games by them in the future.
Finally, there's the rest of the reasons why pre owned should be encouraged not penalised: Reselling a game is recycling it and therefore potentially saves resources. In times of financial difficulty pre owned sales help keep retailers in business and people in a job. Luxury purchases, which games are, become available to more people and help stimulate the economy. In the end there's no need to say, "but no other industry does it", there's just the truth: the big companies are looking for more money and could give a damn about customer loyalty. If it gets to the point where it costs too much to buy pre owned or we have to choose between pre owned or multiplayer then we'll stop buying those games. The industry will become less inventive, less likely to risk a new IP and eventually collapse again. No one wants that so maybe the war on pre owned needs to stop before it starts.
Cheers,
R.

Movies Are Teh Awesome!

I'm not calling this feature the same thing every week because I'm lazy and might decide to miss a week or two. Unlike the ever popular Music Monday the Sunday movie show (actually, I like that name) is not just devoted to new or unknown gems and as if just to prove that point this week's film is 20 years old.

David Lynch's Wild At Heart is a twisted take on the Wizard of Oz starring Nicholas Cage and that bird off Jurassic Park (Laura Dern) with a strong supporting cast including Willem Defoe and Crispin Glover (Marty McFly's Dad in BTTF). As you would expect from Lynch it's a roller-coaster of weird going's on and uncomfortable characters that spins throughout this crazy love story, road movie that pays endless homage to Elvis Presley and Wizard of Oz while carving itself into your memory in the way great movies do.

If that doesn't appeal, and to be honest on paper it sounds like an awful movie, then rest assured your life will be enriched upon viewing. If you've never found love for David Lynch's works then this is a perfect place to start. Wild At Heart is easily more accessible than Mullholland Drive and definitely less creepy than Twin Peaks or Blue Velvet.
Cheers,
R.

A Good Reason Why I Should Never Be Armed

A woman in my local shop is complaining about the milk. In her hand she has a one pint bottle but, "that's not enough!" she's telling the overworked and completely uninterested shop keeper. "i want the next size up. You have the big ones but that's too much." (the shop currently has one and four pint bottles but is sold out of twos) If it wasn't annoying enough that she's holding up the queue the entire bottle of perfume she's wearing is about to give me an asthma attack. With every sentence she pauses expectantly as if the man at the counter will suddenly produce a two pints of milk from some secret fridge no-one knows about and he just waits blankly for her to either buy the milk or leave. It's too early on a Sunday for this shit. If she wants more milk why not buy two one pints otherwise shut the fuck up and get out of my way.

[written in a queue, on my phone @ 10:10 this morning]
Cheers,
R.

Music Monday Week 10

This week's Music Monday couldn't have been made easier without someone typing it for me. Simon Pegg, bless him the hero that he is, suggested we all get Fuck You by Cee Lo Green to number across the world. It's actually a good track it NSFW so plug in you headphones and enjoy.



Now get yourself to http://www.ceelogreen.com/ for more information.

Cheers,
R.

"In The Beginning...

...God created the heaven and the earth."

 Let me make something abundantly clear before I go on. This is not an article about religion, God or creationism., but for first line in a book that one's a doozy. For those of you who don't know that definite statement is the first line in The Holy Bible, King James Version (first published in 1611). The book of Genesis goes on to explain how God also created light, the separation of light and dark as days, the "firmament" (which I'll come back to), land, plants, the sun and the moon, sea creatures, mammals, man and finally woman. In that precise order.

There's a song in this picture somewhere.

What makes the story of creation so important and genuinely fascinating for me is the fact it originates 3400 years ago. Many people either don't know or simply forget that the story of creation appears first in the Torah and pre-dates Jesus by a millennia. More so than the age of the story is it's accuracy in many ways.
As I've already said this isn't an article about Religion or creationism and I'm not for one second trying to back up the belief that God created the Earth, but if you remove God from the story and look at the events it details it gets a lot right. That is to say someone 3400 years ago had a grasp of the history of the Earth and the universe to some degree. 3400 years ago!

Let's look back at that list again but remove God. First came the heavens - literally space, then the earth. That's true, not entirely the whole story but accurate none the less. At this point the story refers to water on the earth but no land. Next came light and dark - day and night. While the originators of the story would not know this they had nailed fact number 2: The Earth is rotating causing periods of day and night.
Next comes the firmament, a word translated from Hebrew which refers to an extended solid surface or dome. In the story of creation a firmament is placed to "divide the waters from the waters" and is somewhat confusing until God names the firmament Heaven. Seeing as land is yet to be mentioned the clearest interpretation of this would be that the firmament is the atmosphere. Which ever way you look at it the mentioning of the firmament is the first mistake but for 3400 years ago was a pretty close approximation.
The next big error comes with the formation of land, then the sun and moon?! Science would show it was more likely land first then seas as the planet cooled. After that though things get very interesting.

Little old us!

Plants are the first life mentioned, grass and herbs and fruit trees. God sits back and watches the tree bear fruit and seed and new trees grow. This would be simple knowledge to people of the era, the earliest farms being over 1000 years before them, but the creation of animal life is another matter.


In the story first came sea creatures some of which would make their way onto land. Then came sea mammals, namely the whale, and some of those would also crawl onto land. That's exactly Darwin's theory in a nutshell. While it's highly unlikely the whale was the first mammal (Jonah and the shrew would have been an interesting story!) the idea of life crawling out of the oceans is the science we teach today. Finally, just before putting his feet up, God makes people and gives them the Earth.

To recap then, and this is the bit that blows me away, First came space and planets, then an atmosphere, land and seas. Next plant life, the animal life then humans who took "dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth." For a story that's 3400 years old that's not far off the scientifically believed hypothesises.

While researching this I happened across some very interesting information. For example: there is no consensus as to what came first animal or plant life, some lifeforms cannot evolve and do not show any sign of Darwinian evolution, the oldest farm discovered was in northern Iraq. Also, the story of creation isn't as cut and shut as many people believe and is widely open to interpretation both linguistically and symbolically.

The specific text I referenced is here

As for what I believe that's not for this article, maybe another day,
Cheers,
R.

Things you NEED to know!

by Riley O'Billyo

A third of adults still take a teddy bear to bed.
A survey of 6000 adults by hotel chain Travelodge has found 1 in 3 people still take a teddy to bed. I would assume the other 4000 people in the survey were taking their secretary to bed or some kind of high class hooker!

Special K can be used to cure depression
Unlike normal anti depressants which take a while to become effective and need to be taken daily, ketamine, that's right the horse tranquilizer not the cereal, has been shown in more than one study to have noticeable effects after just one hour and lasts for up to 10 days. The drug was even shown to restore brain-connections damaged by stress. All of which is great when you discount the fact you'd be handing people an addictive hallucinogenic which is used as a party drug in higher dosage and is known to be a date rape drug. Riley O says let them be miserable!

Only 10% of words in text messages are in txt spk
According to some bloke who clearly knows no-one under the age of 20 and didn't think to survey them, only 10% of words in texts are abbreviated or in the much lauded "txt spk" wot jk! omg vis man sum fool or wot?! (excuse me while I bleach my mind in an attempt to forever removed the memory of typing like that)

The Rev's Movie Recommendation Of The Week!

Back in the glorious old days there was an awesome show on ITV on a Sturdays called Movies, Movies, Movies! After a while it changed it's name to Movies, Games and Videos! but the gist was the same. Anyways, to compliment my awesome Music Mondays I have decided to offer you all Reverandglass's Movie Recommendation Of The Week! Wooo!

huh-hmmm... First up is the film that earned Anna Faris the "Stonette of the Year" award at High Times magazine's Stony Awards in 2007. If that's not reason enough to go out a get a copy then read on...
Smiley Face introduces us to Jane F (Anna Faris) on a day when she accidentally gets ridiculously stoned on some contraband cupcakes. What follows is typical stoner movie japes as Jane tries to replace the cupcakes, pay the electric bill and make it to an audition while more baked than the cupcakes that got her in this mess in the first place. Faris gives possibly her best performance to date as the hardcore stonette with all the best intentions and is backed up with an equally strong comedy cast of isn't-that-thingey-from-that-film?s. As ever with these sorts of films our lay-about, waster heroine is lovable enough for you to root for despite her misdeeds and as ever everything wraps up nicely in the end. If you are male, ever smoked weed, are a teenager or just love Anna Faris I urge you to find and love Smiley Face.
Cheers, R.

Music Monday - Week 9

When I decided to start Music Monday I wrote four names on a scrap of paper. These were to be the first four bands featured and represent four of the six permanent fixtures on my walkman (mobile phone these days). But then three weeks in I forgot all about my list and started finding new bands to recommend. I made a mistake, I erred, I ballsed up. I'm desperately trying not to segway into the band's name with a terrible pun. The band I shamefully overlooked and bring to you now is Fucked Up.
       Now, I know they've been around for a long time and have been the darlings of MTV and NME in recent times but too few people know about them for my liking. First time I saw them I fell in love with this scary noise monster fronted by a fat, hairy man called Pink Eyes. Their brand of experimental punk combines all that's lovely and frightening about old school punk and all that remains of experimental that didn't disappear up the arse of prog in the seventies.




http://lookingforgold.blogspot.com/

Wish me luck!

"Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit." - R.E.Shay

It's funny, when you think about it, how often you'll hear people say, "I never have any luck." or "I never win anything." Quite often you'll find it's their excuse for not buying a raffle ticket or not entering into any sort of competition. More often than not I hear it as an excuse not to play the lottery. Now, there are a few reasons why one may choose to not support Camelot's Lotto but, "I'll never win." is a pretty daft one. If you buy one lottery ticket you have a 1 in 14 million chance of winning the jackpot and approximately 1 in 54 chance of winning something. Neither of these are fantastic odds, you'd be better off playing roulette, but both are better than none. I play the lotto once a week for £1 and up until January 2008 I was definitely in profit thanks to numerous 3 and 4 number wins. I've lost track of the count now but at worst I'm only £100 down which is only two 4 number wins away from profit again. Oh and if any more numbers hit then I'm laughing.

Now I'm sure no-one actually cares about my lottery habits or how much I may or may not have won but the reason I mentioned it is this: There are many competitions out there that we don't enter for all the same silly reasons given above. So I decide this week to enter as many free, no purchase necessary type competitions as I could, hey I might even win something. So far my list of potential prizes is:

2 Avenged Sevenfold signature guitars
A pink Gibson guitar signed by Katy Perry
An iPad
A Dyson blade-less fan
A full 3D home cinema set up (TV, Decoder, Blu ray player, surround sound)
An Xbox 360 and game

If I win any of these I'll be happy (less so the pink guitar but hey) and they've cost me precisely £0.00 to enter. If you believe in luck I might have chosen the wrong time to do this as I didn't win the raffle at the football the other night and the five scratchcards I bought won me nothing, but as of now I might win one of six prizes (or maybe more!) thanks to simply taking the time to enter. Who knows my six not-so-lucky-really-but-I'm-waaay-to-scared-to-change-them numbers may come up tomorrow. There will be joyous celebration if I do, not if I don't.
Cheers,
R.
 
[EDIT]  I've just seen today's date! How appropriate to be talking about luck! Happy Jason Voorhees Day!

Jason takes time out to wonder what numbers to play on Thunderball

0 1 1 2 3 5 8 13 21...

34 55 89 144 233 377 610 987 1597 2584 4181 6765 10946 17711 28657 46368 75025 121393 196418 317811 514229 832040 1346269 2178309 3524578 5702887 9227465 14930352 24157817 39088169 63245986 102334155 165580141 267914296 433494437 701408733 1134903170 1836311903 2971215073 4807526976 7778742049 12586269025

Music Monday - Week 8

It's been one of those weeks where I've got nothing done. I've had a pile of bill waiting to be paid and a stack of emails clogging up my inboxes (that's right I have 3 email accounts to make me feel important!) The one thing I did manage to do, albeit accidentally, was find a band for Music Monday. The Arkhams hail from Queens, NYC and play "rock n roll like you’ve never heard while still respecting your good taste." Their song Insane features on the soundtrack to the videogame Wet which I picked up this week when I should really have been doing more productive things. Sounding like a blend of all good genres that end "-abily" The Arkhams raised a smile in me and instantly transport me to a grindhouse Rob Zombie flick directed by Quentin Tarantino anytime they're on my stereo. As ever, I recommend you check them out!



http://www.myspace.com/thearkhams
http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Arkhams/45282022669

Music Monday - Week 7

Sneaking in just in time this week is the band that made my all time favourite album ever. If you don't already own Finelines by My Vitriol go out tomorrow and buy a copy. Despite only having released the one album and a deluxe edition with alternate mixes and b-sides they are still touring and recording. For now here's "Always: your way" (apologies for quality)



www.myspace.com/myvitriol

This made my tinitus hurt! :(

Created by Oatmeal

Now I know it says I failed but while it was playing the tinitus in my ears did get worse than normal. The sound is meant to be something like a mosquito but all I got was pain. Maybe I still have super teenage hearing, maybe I imagined it. My ears still hurt either way. Try for yourself!
Cheers,
R.

Some pretty pretty things

For as long as I can remember I've found myself absolutely enamored with certain objects. These simple examples of design perfection never fail to cause a warm glow to rise in me and a smile to creep across my usually frowning face. More so than anything else, the sight of these things fills me with a sense of wonder for whatever reason and today I thought I'd try to share why.

Supermarine Spitfire

First up is the majestic Spitfire. One of my earliest memories is watching war films and documentaries with my dad and him explaining the difference between a Hurricane and a Spitfire. Living as close as I do to Farnborough Air Show I would wait every year to watch as these awesome machines roared overhead wonder-struck at how something so Victorian seeming could actually fly with such deadly grace. There's an elegant symmetry in the Spitfire that I just can't see in any other plane and even Concorde (which misses out on this list by the skin of it's teeth) could never inspire awe in me like a Spitfire. All this without even considering the brave men who flew them in combat, surely the can be no more a perfect symbol of the era.

X-Wing

Next on the list, which is no order of preference, is another flying machine. The X-wing is almost as synonymous with my childhood Christmas' as decorated trees and presents. For as long as I can remember Star Wars held my attention over the Christmas period, with the exception of that weird gap in the 90's when no-one ever showed it, with it's young boy's dreams come true in movie form. I suppose that my upbringing of the Battle of Britain and swash buckling movies was the perfect primer for all that BUT IN SPACE! Unlike the Spitfire the X-Wing could never inspire awe or respect but damn they look cool and I'd give my left nut to fly one, just once, you know for real!

AT-ST

While Luke Skywalker had an X-Wing the imperial troops on the ground had the impossibly balanced AT-ST. Unlike anything else on this list I always saw these walking tanks as almost alive. Along with the AT-AT (the 4 legged things from Empire Strikes Back for non Star Wars geeks) these were my introduction to the world of mechs. I'd never seen anything like it before. Clattering precariously towards its target the AT-ST always seemed on the edge of disaster while looking like a new born foal finding its feet for the first time as it spat laser death towards anyone in its path. Obviously in a fight the AT-ST is bound to lose, in fact both the X-Wing and Spitfire could kick its lilly ass with one wing tied behind their back but that's not the point. Clunky pointless and not even Wookie proof but every bit on my list!

My very own Fender Jaguar

Next up is a genuine thing of beauty. Now, I own 6 guitars and on occasion have taken them into public places where upon my colleagues, friends or family have commented on the guitar I have with me. No other collection of metal, wood and plastics has ever received as much praise as this beauty. Other guitarists I know always want to get their fat, grubby fingers on it but it's mine. Regardless of its functionality as a guitar, it's only my 3rd favourite to play, just the sight of it makes me smile in even my darkest moments. Over the years I've grown more fond of the candy apple red version, mainly because that's the colour mine is, but all Fender Jaguars have the same effect. Warmth like I've pissed myself but with none of the embarrassment or cleaning up.

Snes Controller

That just leaves me with the item, which if I were to choose favourites in this list of awesome, definitely comes top.I bought my Snes for £74.99 from Argos with a copy of Fifa International Soccer. It cost all my birthday money and I didn't even like football that much but the was not a power on this Earth that would stop my 11 year old self owning the console powerhouse of the day. I'd never been bought a games console as a kid, or since, but my parents did allow me to save and buy them myself. My first was a Sega Master System 2 which had a hard square controller that hurt my hands so when I first picked up the Snes controller I was in heaven. Not only was it rounded so my fingers didn't hurt but it had shoulder buttons! Even the mighty Mega Drive didn't have shoulder buttons. For me this was perfection. That day was the day I became a hardcore gamer. I played Fifa to death (and still play Fifa games now) and lived in awe of my Snes and it's perfect controller until one day last year when my mum confessed to having sold it while I was away. (That wound still hurts). Sure it would be useless for modern games but if I had my way everything would be controller by this perfect piece of design.
Cheers,
R.

Music Monday - Week 6

A few months ago the local meat market hovel of a nightclub near me in Aldershot was taken over and turned into a reputable gig venue. As with all things these days they set up a facebook page to advertise upcoming gigs, one of their posts was commented upon by a young man from Farnham suggesting his band for a support slot. So impressed by this blatant self promotion and bravado I had to find out about the band for myself. So began my short, but entertaining, quest to find out more about Burn Before Reading.

Burn Before Reading

A short hop skip and a hyperlink across the web led me to a band Fierce Panda described as, "four young men from Farnham who play drivingly intense indie rock which is casually littered with the odd terrifically bionic chorus." Sounding somewhere between Maximo Park and The Editors with moments of the great and greatly missed Model Morning they skillfully craft 3 minute pop songs that no one would be ashamed to blast out their stereo on a summer's evening road trip. At this time of year I can think of no higher recommendation. They're bound to be playing a festival near you this summer so check out their website for free demos and then wait with eager anticipation for the full length album which I hear is on its way.


http://www.myspace.com/burnbeforereadingband
http://burnbeforereading.co.uk/

(special thanks to Shed Heyman for the info to help make this possible)

All potatoes are not created equal

It's been a quiet week. There's been no clowns to offend me and my epic war with a particularly aggressive moth is hardly worth writing about. Then again neither is this:

When is a potato not a potato? or more accurately why are some potatoes worth more than others. I don't know but here's the proof.

There it is, clear as day, in price per kg different potatoes are worth different amounts. SHOCKING! Stop this injustice now... or something.
cheers,
R.

Music Monday - Week 5

I was struggling to find an act for week 5. When I started my installments of Music Monday I wanted to give shout outs to great bands you probably don't know, trouble is I'm not exactly at the cutting edge anymore. Most bands these days are more fussed about their pointy shoe, skinny jean, perfectly coiffed appearances than making music that still works without a laptop and more delay than a shitty rail company on a rainy day. So while I was trawling through the unsigned bands I befriended on myspace back when it was cool I realised all the good bands have split or made it big enough to be wasted on Music Monday. Then, while I was losing heart, I found, by way of Kerrang!, The Pretty Reckless.

 The first track I heard raised a wicked smile from the corners of my mouth. There's a playfully dirty voice that emanates from the dangerously beautiful Taylor Momsen who sounds more mature and worldly at her unbelievably young age of 16 than almost any other female vocalist I can think of on the young side of 30. Make Me Wanna Die featured on the Kick Ass soundtrack and just forces you to nod your head to it's infectious pulse just like the best sleazy rock should. Sleazy rock from a sixteen year old?! I'm avoiding making comparisons to Courtney Love but if Ms Love fronted Evanescence with Jack White on guitar you might come close to The Pretty Reckless. Their new EP is available at itunes and amazon (no I'm not posting links find them yourself) so surf across and purchase it now.

http://www.myspace.com/theprettyreckless
http://www.theprettyreckless.com/

I did make a movie!

Well not really a movie more a video slideshow of some photos I took while drunk. Abstract photos set to a soundtrack of dubious quality jazz guitar improvisation! Who could ask for more?

It Just Isn't Funny

Coulrophobia /kɔʊl.ɹəʊˈfəʊ.bi.ə/
n
1. The irrational fear of clowns.

There's a few things in the world I don't like, things like wasps, spiders, cabbage, r'n'b. There's a few things that unsettle or un-nerve me, agressive drunks for example. There are a few things that piss me off: taxes, ignorance, people, wars, footballers...ok there's a lot of things that piss me off! But there are only 2 things that manage to fall into all 3 catagories. Spiders and clowns. Both these evil, purposeless, ugly things pop up unexpectedly when you least expect them. They're never welcome and insist on hanging around and drawing attention to themselves. What's worse is that they cannot be avoided. Spiders will get anywhere and wait until you're at you most relaxed before scuttling around like a knife weilding teenager high on red bull, just testing how close it can get. Clowns, rage inducing wastes of humanity, have infested everything from resturaunts and birthday parties to TV, movies and serial killers. There's a reason Stephen King's IT is a clown; they're bloody scary. Which Is why I dressed as one for Halloween (that and it's a cheap costume to make)

The worst thing about these disgusting, pestilent, deviants is that, unlike spiders, they can't be got rid of with a cup and a piece of paper, or my preffered method a heavy object to squash them with. Nor can they be avoided. Any foray into the world outdoors or online results in unexpected clown offence. Recent examples include the Sony E3 conference and various gaming websites then just this very morning:

The reason for my outburst? 'Doink the clown' appeared on WWe Raw this week. It's a wrestling show, why on earth do they need a clown?!

Now I can trace the root of my 'fear' to a traumatic incident in my past and unlike some others I'm not 'scared' of clowns like I might be scared of heights or my ex in a bad mood. I'm just sick of not being able to do anything these days without some social reject in face paint appearing to ruin things for everybody. Much like wasps at a picnic.
Cheers,
R.

Music Monday - Week 4

Delayed due to some pizza based sleepyness, but still as awesome as ever! This week I've had the good fortune to discover the wake effect. Their song 'Ten Things To Do If I Live' was used as the promo music for TNA wrestling's latest Pay Per View and a hop, skip and a web search later it turns out there's a whole album available to download, for free on the official website. Combining electronic rhythms with driven guitars to produce a typically American sounding brand of infectious rock that gets stuck in my head was a sure fire way to get promoted here. 'Ten Things To Do If I Live is in the middle of their range which does vary from soft ballads to full onrockers. Check 'em out!

http://www.thewakeeffect.com/
http://www.myspace.com/thewakeeffect

Sniper: Ghost Warrior Xbox 360 Review

As promised I am going to review Sniper: Ghost Warrior properly now I've had a chance to complete it. In thinking about this review, and more specifically the fact I'm writing it on my mobile, I've realised that objective opinion and personal experience can mean 2 very different things to the same person. For example, I recently changed a Nokia 5800 for a Sony Ericsson Vivaz (U5). A well known website that reviews phones rates the Nokia more highly and a detailed review they have of the Vivaz nit picked enough details to knock down the score. The morning after I read the review my new Vivaz arrived and I couldn't have been more shocked to find the phone in the box was, in my experience, much more lovely than the 5800 I was stuffing into a bag for 'cash my mobile'. All the fears the review had triggered in my choice melted away within minutes as the apparent exaggerations of the Vivaz's reviewer were proven to not bother me in the slightest. If you hadn't guessed where this is going here's the game review:

Ever since Metal Gear Solid first gave me a taste of what being a sniper in a game could be like I've been itching for a game dedicated to lying in the dirt for extended periods, staring down the scope of a high powered rifle. So imagine my delight when a trailer sneaked into my consciousness for Sniper: Ghost Warrior, a game based primarily on accurate sniping mechanics! Now, I've seen Enemy At The Gates and watched enough Discovery Channel to know that a sniper does not run around like Rambo trying to save the world single handedly and I've played enough games in my time to know there's often another approach. Knowing that, I started playing the game cautiously and stealthily and I found it very difficult. Not because it's broken or hampered by poor AI but because, and this is a real shocker, I was being a crap sniper. S:GW doesn't hold your hand for a second longer than the patronisingly easy tutorial which casts you as trainer rather than a recruit and lasts only about 5 minutes of the 12 hour game. From the first minutes of your first mission you have to be aware of everything around you, constantly checking that twitch in the far distant to make sure it isn't an enemy guard, constantly being careful not to stick your feet out for passing guards to see or to reload too close to one and give yourself up with the noise. The production values of S:GW prevent it from being the best looking game on the market but the Chrome Engine 4 does an admirable job of creating a lush tropical environment that looks like Uncharted: Drake's Fortune meets Far Cry squeezed into slightly angular boxes. For the most part the graphics, which never become immersive enough to draw you in fully, are completely acceptable for a low budget game of this generation. The big let down comes on the few occasions you get close enough to an enemy to see they're more akin to Action Man than any believable life-form. Other than that a few niggles with overly shiny rain effects and the odd rock that you pass right through give the look an arcade style shooter as opposed to the gritty realism attempted by some AAA FPS's.

 
The controls will be instantly familiar to any FPS fan with 'looking down the sights' mapped to LT and 'Fire!' mapped to RT. All the other usual jump, crouch, melee controls are there too but they're joined by 'hold your breath' which is just an LS click away. That's a good thing too, not only because it free up your right hand to concentrate on the dirty stuff but because you will need to hold you breath, a lot. S:GW's USP, if it has one, is the sniping mechanics that make up the vast majority of the gun-play in the game. As you look through the scope of whichever high-powered rifle you're equipped with at the time you'll notice the cross-hairs rise and fall in time to you character's breathing (It's worth a side note here that you play as several different characters a la COD which I why I've not referred to him by name). At the same time you'll be lining up your shot and adjusting for wind speed, bullet drop and sometimes rain, although in easy and normal modes the game helps this with a dot that shows where you bullet is likely to end up. It all makes for some challenging and often exhilarating shooting as you lie in wait for a shot knowing you have only seconds, if that, to perfect your shot and move on undetected. So you'll hold your breath. AND press LS in so you character does the same, his breathing stops and the sights steady, the target comes into view and RT. Head-shot! Yeah! To make those perfect moments better City Interactive saw fit to include a bullet time, slow motion barrel to brains reply for some head-shots. It's often a welcome moment and can be very useful too as you get a close up of an area up to 300 metres away. Unfortunately this moment is sometimes spoilt by jerky animations but at their worst it looks like a deliberate attempt at a stutter effect and never froze or broke the game during my play through.

 
The story is generic war game fodder with an evil 'Regime' becoming a threat and us good guys having to go and save the day. This is delivered by game engine cut scenes, between mission narrative (over loading screens to prevent boredom) and through cinematic set pieces which range from defending yourself with a heavy machine gun as wave upon wave of enemy troops try to cut you down to making a mad dash amid hostile fire to reach your pick up and safety. These changes of pace are a welcome break from the intense paranoia of the stealthy sniping but could have been fleshed out to make a more compelling game. One such example of a great idea not fully realised is a section where you and your team are heading up a river in a small boat and you are charged with picking off as many of the enemy guards as you can while the rest of your team clear up the stragglers. It's a nice change of pace but it's all over too soon. Other section of the story are played from both the sniper's and the ground troops point of view and you'll alternate between cover fire from a vantage point and run and gun action with an assault rifle. These sections are solid enough but don't expect AAA shooting. The core or this game is in the sniping and the more in-your-face elements, while solid, are average at best.

In the end what you get with S:GW is 12 hours of fun if what you like in a game is hard as nails, balls to the wall shooting and you don't mind what it looks like. I loved every cursed, infuriating minute of it. While I may have turned the air blue as I repeated a section for the twentieth time I always knew that, firstly I would restart within 5 seconds - very important and secondly, I had failed because I'd done something wrong and could do better this time. I saw none of the alleged glitches other critics have talked about and I ultimate discovered the 'super visioned guard that could see me through a bush at one hundred yards' actually always had a friend six feet away from me staring at my feet as the poked out of cover.

Sniper:Ghost Warrior never was a AAA title and if you have to save your pocket money or only get to buy one game a month thanks to a filthy drug habit the rent it or borrow a friend's copy. My copy was a birthday present so I've invested £0 and definitely got my money's worth. More importantly though I don't think my Mum was ripped off either.

Cold Hard Critical Score: 6/10
My Opinion / Enjoyment score: 7/10

cheers,
R.

Ps. I did tell my Mum to buy the game so this isn't a glorified thank you note.

The images used in this review were download from www.sniperghostwarrior.com/  as part of a screenshots downlaod pack