Tuesday 27 July 2010

This made my tinitus hurt! :(

The Teenager Audio Test - Can you hear this sound?

Created by Oatmeal

Now I know it says I failed but while it was playing the tinitus in my ears did get worse than normal. The sound is meant to be something like a mosquito but all I got was pain. Maybe I still have super teenage hearing, maybe I imagined it. My ears still hurt either way. Try for yourself!
Cheers,
R.

Some pretty pretty things

For as long as I can remember I've found myself absolutely enamored with certain objects. These simple examples of design perfection never fail to cause a warm glow to rise in me and a smile to creep across my usually frowning face. More so than anything else, the sight of these things fills me with a sense of wonder for whatever reason and today I thought I'd try to share why.

Supermarine Spitfire
First up is the majestic Spitfire. One of my earliest memories is watching war films and documentaries with my dad and him explaining the difference between a Hurricane and a Spitfire. Living as close as I do to Farnborough Air Show I would wait every year to watch as these awesome machines roared overhead wonder-struck at how something so Victorian seeming could actually fly with such deadly grace. There's an elegant symmetry in the Spitfire that I just can't see in any other plane and even Concorde (which misses out on this list by the skin of it's teeth) could never inspire awe in me like a Spitfire. All this without even considering the brave men who flew them in combat, surely the can be no more a perfect symbol of the era.

X-Wing
Next on the list, which is no order of preference, is another flying machine. The X-wing is almost as synonymous with my childhood Christmas' as decorated trees and presents. For as long as I can remember Star Wars held my attention over the Christmas period, with the exception of that weird gap in the 90's when no-one ever showed it, with it's young boy's dreams come true in movie form. I suppose that my upbringing of the Battle of Britain and swash buckling movies was the perfect primer for all that BUT IN SPACE! Unlike the Spitfire the X-Wing could never inspire awe or respect but damn they look cool and I'd give my left nut to fly one, just once, you know for real!

AT-ST
While Luke Skywalker had an X-Wing the imperial troops on the ground had the impossibly balanced AT-ST. Unlike anything else on this list I always saw these walking tanks as almost alive. Along with the AT-AT (the 4 legged things from Empire Strikes Back for non Star Wars geeks) these were my introduction to the world of mechs. I'd never seen anything like it before. Clattering precariously towards its target the AT-ST always seemed on the edge of disaster while looking like a new born foal finding its feet for the first time as it spat laser death towards anyone in its path. Obviously in a fight the AT-ST is bound to lose, in fact both the X-Wing and Spitfire could kick its lilly ass with one wing tied behind their back but that's not the point. Clunky pointless and not even Wookie proof but every bit on my list!

My very own Fender Jaguar
Next up is a genuine thing of beauty. Now, I own 6 guitars and on occasion have taken them into public places where upon my colleagues, friends or family have commented on the guitar I have with me. No other collection of metal, wood and plastics has ever received as much praise as this beauty. Other guitarists I know always want to get their fat, grubby fingers on it but it's mine. Regardless of its functionality as a guitar, it's only my 3rd favourite to play, just the sight of it makes me smile in even my darkest moments. Over the years I've grown more fond of the candy apple red version, mainly because that's the colour mine is, but all Fender Jaguars have the same effect. Warmth like I've pissed myself but with none of the embarrassment or cleaning up.

Snes Controller
That just leaves me with the item, which if I were to choose favourites in this list of awesome, definitely comes top.I bought my Snes for £74.99 from Argos with a copy of Fifa International Soccer. It cost all my birthday money and I didn't even like football that much but the was not a power on this Earth that would stop my 11 year old self owning the console powerhouse of the day. I'd never been bought a games console as a kid, or since, but my parents did allow me to save and buy them myself. My first was a Sega Master System 2 which had a hard square controller that hurt my hands so when I first picked up the Snes controller I was in heaven. Not only was it rounded so my fingers didn't hurt but it had shoulder buttons! Even the mighty Mega Drive didn't have shoulder buttons. For me this was perfection. That day was the day I became a hardcore gamer. I played Fifa to death (and still play Fifa games now) and lived in awe of my Snes and it's perfect controller until one day last year when my mum confessed to having sold it while I was away. (That wound still hurts). Sure it would be useless for modern games but if I had my way everything would be controller by this perfect piece of design.
Cheers,
R.

Monday 26 July 2010

Music Monday - Week 6

A few months ago the local meat market hovel of a nightclub near me in Aldershot was taken over and turned into a reputable gig venue. As with all things these days they set up a facebook page to advertise upcoming gigs, one of their posts was commented upon by a young man from Farnham suggesting his band for a support slot. So impressed by this blatant self promotion and bravado I had to find out about the band for myself. So began my short, but entertaining, quest to find out more about Burn Before Reading.

Burn Before Reading
A short hop skip and a hyperlink across the web led me to a band Fierce Panda described as, "four young men from Farnham who play drivingly intense indie rock which is casually littered with the odd terrifically bionic chorus." Sounding somewhere between Maximo Park and The Editors with moments of the great and greatly missed Model Morning they skillfully craft 3 minute pop songs that no one would be ashamed to blast out their stereo on a summer's evening road trip. At this time of year I can think of no higher recommendation. They're bound to be playing a festival near you this summer so check out their website for free demos and then wait with eager anticipation for the full length album which I hear is on its way.


http://www.myspace.com/burnbeforereadingband
http://burnbeforereading.co.uk/

(special thanks to Shed Heyman for the info to help make this possible)

Sunday 25 July 2010

All potatoes are not created equal

It's been a quiet week. There's been no clowns to offend me and my epic war with a particularly aggressive moth is hardly worth writing about. Then again neither is this:

When is a potato not a potato? or more accurately why are some potatoes worth more than others. I don't know but here's the proof.


There it is, clear as day, in price per kg different potatoes are worth different amounts. SHOCKING! Stop this injustice now... or something.
cheers,
R.

Monday 19 July 2010

Music Monday - Week 5

I was struggling to find an act for week 5. When I started my installments of Music Monday I wanted to give shout outs to great bands you probably don't know, trouble is I'm not exactly at the cutting edge anymore. Most bands these days are more fussed about their pointy shoe, skinny jean, perfectly coiffed appearances than making music that still works without a laptop and more delay than a shitty rail company on a rainy day. So while I was trawling through the unsigned bands I befriended on myspace back when it was cool I realised all the good bands have split or made it big enough to be wasted on Music Monday. Then, while I was losing heart, I found, by way of Kerrang!, The Pretty Reckless.

 The first track I heard raised a wicked smile from the corners of my mouth. There's a playfully dirty voice that emanates from the dangerously beautiful Taylor Momsen who sounds more mature and worldly at her unbelievably young age of 16 than almost any other female vocalist I can think of on the young side of 30. Make Me Wanna Die featured on the Kick Ass soundtrack and just forces you to nod your head to it's infectious pulse just like the best sleazy rock should. Sleazy rock from a sixteen year old?! I'm avoiding making comparisons to Courtney Love but if Ms Love fronted Evanescence with Jack White on guitar you might come close to The Pretty Reckless. Their new EP is available at itunes and amazon (no I'm not posting links find them yourself) so surf across and purchase it now.

http://www.myspace.com/theprettyreckless
http://www.theprettyreckless.com/

Sunday 18 July 2010

I did make a movie!

Well not really a movie more a video slideshow of some photos I took while drunk. Abstract photos set to a soundtrack of dubious quality jazz guitar improvisation! Who could ask for more?

Tuesday 13 July 2010

It Just Isn't Funny

Coulrophobia /kɔʊl.ɹəʊˈfəʊ.bi.ə/
n
1. The irrational fear of clowns.

There's a few things in the world I don't like, things like wasps, spiders, cabbage, r'n'b. There's a few things that unsettle or un-nerve me, agressive drunks for example. There are a few things that piss me off: taxes, ignorance, people, wars, footballers...ok there's a lot of things that piss me off! But there are only 2 things that manage to fall into all 3 catagories. Spiders and clowns. Both these evil, purposeless, ugly things pop up unexpectedly when you least expect them. They're never welcome and insist on hanging around and drawing attention to themselves. What's worse is that they cannot be avoided. Spiders will get anywhere and wait until you're at you most relaxed before scuttling around like a knife weilding teenager high on red bull, just testing how close it can get. Clowns, rage inducing wastes of humanity, have infested everything from resturaunts and birthday parties to TV, movies and serial killers. There's a reason Stephen King's IT is a clown; they're bloody scary. Which Is why I dressed as one for Halloween (that and it's a cheap costume to make)

The worst thing about these disgusting, pestilent, deviants is that, unlike spiders, they can't be got rid of with a cup and a piece of paper, or my preffered method a heavy object to squash them with. Nor can they be avoided. Any foray into the world outdoors or online results in unexpected clown offence. Recent examples include the Sony E3 conference and various gaming websites then just this very morning:

The reason for my outburst? 'Doink the clown' appeared on WWe Raw this week. It's a wrestling show, why on earth do they need a clown?!

Now I can trace the root of my 'fear' to a traumatic incident in my past and unlike some others I'm not 'scared' of clowns like I might be scared of heights or my ex in a bad mood. I'm just sick of not being able to do anything these days without some social reject in face paint appearing to ruin things for everybody. Much like wasps at a picnic.
Cheers,
R.

Music Monday - Week 4

Delayed due to some pizza based sleepyness, but still as awesome as ever! This week I've had the good fortune to discover the wake effect. Their song 'Ten Things To Do If I Live' was used as the promo music for TNA wrestling's latest Pay Per View and a hop, skip and a web search later it turns out there's a whole album available to download, for free on the official website. Combining electronic rhythms with driven guitars to produce a typically American sounding brand of infectious rock that gets stuck in my head was a sure fire way to get promoted here. 'Ten Things To Do If I Live is in the middle of their range which does vary from soft ballads to full onrockers. Check 'em out!

http://www.thewakeeffect.com/
http://www.myspace.com/thewakeeffect

Saturday 10 July 2010

Sniper: Ghost Warrior Xbox 360 Review

As promised I am going to review Sniper: Ghost Warrior properly now I've had a chance to complete it. In thinking about this review, and more specifically the fact I'm writing it on my mobile, I've realised that objective opinion and personal experience can mean 2 very different things to the same person. For example, I recently changed a Nokia 5800 for a Sony Ericsson Vivaz (U5). A well known website that reviews phones rates the Nokia more highly and a detailed review they have of the Vivaz nit picked enough details to knock down the score. The morning after I read the review my new Vivaz arrived and I couldn't have been more shocked to find the phone in the box was, in my experience, much more lovely than the 5800 I was stuffing into a bag for 'cash my mobile'. All the fears the review had triggered in my choice melted away within minutes as the apparent exaggerations of the Vivaz's reviewer were proven to not bother me in the slightest. If you hadn't guessed where this is going here's the game review:

Ever since Metal Gear Solid first gave me a taste of what being a sniper in a game could be like I've been itching for a game dedicated to lying in the dirt for extended periods, staring down the scope of a high powered rifle. So imagine my delight when a trailer sneaked into my consciousness for Sniper: Ghost Warrior, a game based primarily on accurate sniping mechanics! Now, I've seen Enemy At The Gates and watched enough Discovery Channel to know that a sniper does not run around like Rambo trying to save the world single handedly and I've played enough games in my time to know there's often another approach. Knowing that, I started playing the game cautiously and stealthily and I found it very difficult. Not because it's broken or hampered by poor AI but because, and this is a real shocker, I was being a crap sniper. S:GW doesn't hold your hand for a second longer than the patronisingly easy tutorial which casts you as trainer rather than a recruit and lasts only about 5 minutes of the 12 hour game. From the first minutes of your first mission you have to be aware of everything around you, constantly checking that twitch in the far distant to make sure it isn't an enemy guard, constantly being careful not to stick your feet out for passing guards to see or to reload too close to one and give yourself up with the noise. The production values of S:GW prevent it from being the best looking game on the market but the Chrome Engine 4 does an admirable job of creating a lush tropical environment that looks like Uncharted: Drake's Fortune meets Far Cry squeezed into slightly angular boxes. For the most part the graphics, which never become immersive enough to draw you in fully, are completely acceptable for a low budget game of this generation. The big let down comes on the few occasions you get close enough to an enemy to see they're more akin to Action Man than any believable life-form. Other than that a few niggles with overly shiny rain effects and the odd rock that you pass right through give the look an arcade style shooter as opposed to the gritty realism attempted by some AAA FPS's.


 
The controls will be instantly familiar to any FPS fan with 'looking down the sights' mapped to LT and 'Fire!' mapped to RT. All the other usual jump, crouch, melee controls are there too but they're joined by 'hold your breath' which is just an LS click away. That's a good thing too, not only because it free up your right hand to concentrate on the dirty stuff but because you will need to hold you breath, a lot. S:GW's USP, if it has one, is the sniping mechanics that make up the vast majority of the gun-play in the game. As you look through the scope of whichever high-powered rifle you're equipped with at the time you'll notice the cross-hairs rise and fall in time to you character's breathing (It's worth a side note here that you play as several different characters a la COD which I why I've not referred to him by name). At the same time you'll be lining up your shot and adjusting for wind speed, bullet drop and sometimes rain, although in easy and normal modes the game helps this with a dot that shows where you bullet is likely to end up. It all makes for some challenging and often exhilarating shooting as you lie in wait for a shot knowing you have only seconds, if that, to perfect your shot and move on undetected. So you'll hold your breath. AND press LS in so you character does the same, his breathing stops and the sights steady, the target comes into view and RT. Head-shot! Yeah! To make those perfect moments better City Interactive saw fit to include a bullet time, slow motion barrel to brains reply for some head-shots. It's often a welcome moment and can be very useful too as you get a close up of an area up to 300 metres away. Unfortunately this moment is sometimes spoilt by jerky animations but at their worst it looks like a deliberate attempt at a stutter effect and never froze or broke the game during my play through.


 
The story is generic war game fodder with an evil 'Regime' becoming a threat and us good guys having to go and save the day. This is delivered by game engine cut scenes, between mission narrative (over loading screens to prevent boredom) and through cinematic set pieces which range from defending yourself with a heavy machine gun as wave upon wave of enemy troops try to cut you down to making a mad dash amid hostile fire to reach your pick up and safety. These changes of pace are a welcome break from the intense paranoia of the stealthy sniping but could have been fleshed out to make a more compelling game. One such example of a great idea not fully realised is a section where you and your team are heading up a river in a small boat and you are charged with picking off as many of the enemy guards as you can while the rest of your team clear up the stragglers. It's a nice change of pace but it's all over too soon. Other section of the story are played from both the sniper's and the ground troops point of view and you'll alternate between cover fire from a vantage point and run and gun action with an assault rifle. These sections are solid enough but don't expect AAA shooting. The core or this game is in the sniping and the more in-your-face elements, while solid, are average at best.



In the end what you get with S:GW is 12 hours of fun if what you like in a game is hard as nails, balls to the wall shooting and you don't mind what it looks like. I loved every cursed, infuriating minute of it. While I may have turned the air blue as I repeated a section for the twentieth time I always knew that, firstly I would restart within 5 seconds - very important and secondly, I had failed because I'd done something wrong and could do better this time. I saw none of the alleged glitches other critics have talked about and I ultimate discovered the 'super visioned guard that could see me through a bush at one hundred yards' actually always had a friend six feet away from me staring at my feet as the poked out of cover.

Sniper:Ghost Warrior never was a AAA title and if you have to save your pocket money or only get to buy one game a month thanks to a filthy drug habit the rent it or borrow a friend's copy. My copy was a birthday present so I've invested £0 and definitely got my money's worth. More importantly though I don't think my Mum was ripped off either.

Cold Hard Critical Score: 6/10
My Opinion / Enjoyment score: 7/10

cheers,
R.

Ps. I did tell my Mum to buy the game so this isn't a glorified thank you note.

The images used in this review were download from www.sniperghostwarrior.com/  as part of a screenshots downlaod pack

Wednesday 7 July 2010

Sniper: Ghost Warrior Rolling Review

As you may know I normally don't offer any form of review on a game I'm playing until I've finished it. That way I have plenty of time to form my opinions and review the game as a whole. Today I'm breaking that mold in response to Eurogamer's review of Sniper: Ghost Warrior on Xbox360. They gave it 2/10. Atrocious according to their scoring policy. Well I'm not sure they played the same game I am.
Now S:GW is by no means a AAA title City Interactive aren't a massive developer with massive budgets and any gamer who hasn't come to own the game through gifting or blind chance will know that the game they are buying will not be perfect. That said S:GW does deliver on it's most important feature. Yup you guessed it: sniping. More importantly sniping with all those real extras that most games leave out, such as wind and rain effecting the bullet's flight, bullet drop, heart rate and breathing. Run to cover and stand while trying to aim and your character will heave and pant and wave the barrel of his rifle around like a raver with a glow stick. But if you sneak and crawl on your belly to a good vantage point and hold your breath (by pressing LS) and you'll get a nice steady shot. If you are good enough to put that shot into your enemies head you'll be rewarded with a slow mo replay of the flight of your shot from barrel to brains for your trouble.
Graphically S:GW is clearly not up to the standards of the like of COD or GearsOW2 (GOW could be God of War or Gears) but I haven't felt they hindered gameplay. The environments are as believable and immersive as those of Far Cry Instincts: Predator and are somewhat reminiscent of them too. The weapons available all feel more believable than any Halo has to offer but do lack the punch of those in COD. The sound is fine, the voice acting is ok although limited to repeating the same few phrase for the most part and the controls are instantly familiar to anyone who's played Borderlands. So far there's nothing broken or atrocious anywhere to be found.
So long as you treat the game correctly, that's as a stealth sniping game where you're not meant to run and gun like John Rambo in a deathmatch, it will treat you to some glorious head bursting fun. If you want to play Halo or COD, play Halo or COD. I'll continue my analysis and give a full review as I go but my advice would be if you like sniping and can pick it up for £20 or less you'll have fun. I doubt S:GW will change your life but who cares? It's a game, it's enjoyable and it's ok.
Based on what I've seen 6/10.
cheers,
R.

For fairness Eurogamer's review is here.

Tuesday 6 July 2010

Music Monday - Week 3

It's not often that I come across a band whose name alone is sufficient to make me check them out. In the past I've been swayed into parting with my cash thanks to fit bass players (Million Dead), accidentally seen live performances (Gene) and once even because their t-shirt was cool (4ft Fingers) but until I received a email promoting gigs by this weeks choice I had never been intrigued just by a name. And what a name it is! As soon as I saw it I heard a crazy cacophony of sounds in my head, I imagined a circus of noise and fun and down right quirkiness that I could resist. And boy they didn't let me down! Foxy Shazam are everything fun experimental music can be, combining rock, pop, classical, metal and anything else they feel like into energetic works of art that feel like they might fall apart at any second but never fail to raise a smile. If you haven't heard them their myspace is full to bursting with tracks and videos and I cannot recommend them enough. The video is for 'A Dangerous Man' taken from 2008's 'Introducing' find headphones, turn up the volume and discover your new favourite band!

http://www.myspace.com/foxyshazam

Monday 5 July 2010

ain't technology grand?!

Or so I thought. I'd just written a post about the way I often find myself in awe of what is capable with everyday technologies. I'd written this post on my mobile. My point, which I explained beautifully and eloquently, was that within our life times technology has changed, and will continue to change, beyond any recognition. In my humble opinion that's amazing. That's actually something I can while away miserable hours thinking about. I'd love to go back 10 years and show my18 year old self HDTV or this generation of games consoles or go back 20 years and show my 8 year old self The Incredibles on DVD. Just because we have grown up with these technologies doesn't make them any less magical or awe inspiring. The same could be said for any major advance of the last 28 years but gadgets are my thing. The inspiration for this reflective post, the original of which included a lovely passage about how fortunate our place in the universe is, is my birthday which is today. I'm 28, too old to die young and be a member of the 27 club but still young enough to be reckless and irresponsible and to spend money on fancy toys and gadgets that I don't need but sometimes just look at a daydream off into an amazing world of technological advancement.
....Anyway, I had written this all on my mobile and I clicked post and *poof* it vanished into the mystical ether of...well I don't know...and I had to write this to explain the header with an empty post. Technology sucks!
cheers,
R.

Friday 2 July 2010

Astrology:

because millions of planets and stars have spent billions of years lining themselves up just to let you know that you might "meet someone with nice eyes today."