Sunday 29 August 2010

Movies Are Teh Awesome!

I'm not calling this feature the same thing every week because I'm lazy and might decide to miss a week or two. Unlike the ever popular Music Monday the Sunday movie show (actually, I like that name) is not just devoted to new or unknown gems and as if just to prove that point this week's film is 20 years old.

David Lynch's Wild At Heart is a twisted take on the Wizard of Oz starring Nicholas Cage and that bird off Jurassic Park (Laura Dern) with a strong supporting cast including Willem Defoe and Crispin Glover (Marty McFly's Dad in BTTF). As you would expect from Lynch it's a roller-coaster of weird going's on and uncomfortable characters that spins throughout this crazy love story, road movie that pays endless homage to Elvis Presley and Wizard of Oz while carving itself into your memory in the way great movies do.

If that doesn't appeal, and to be honest on paper it sounds like an awful movie, then rest assured your life will be enriched upon viewing. If you've never found love for David Lynch's works then this is a perfect place to start. Wild At Heart is easily more accessible than Mullholland Drive and definitely less creepy than Twin Peaks or Blue Velvet.
Cheers,
R.

A Good Reason Why I Should Never Be Armed

A woman in my local shop is complaining about the milk. In her hand she has a one pint bottle but, "that's not enough!" she's telling the overworked and completely uninterested shop keeper. "i want the next size up. You have the big ones but that's too much." (the shop currently has one and four pint bottles but is sold out of twos) If it wasn't annoying enough that she's holding up the queue the entire bottle of perfume she's wearing is about to give me an asthma attack. With every sentence she pauses expectantly as if the man at the counter will suddenly produce a two pints of milk from some secret fridge no-one knows about and he just waits blankly for her to either buy the milk or leave. It's too early on a Sunday for this shit. If she wants more milk why not buy two one pints otherwise shut the fuck up and get out of my way.

[written in a queue, on my phone @ 10:10 this morning]
Cheers,
R.

Monday 23 August 2010

Music Monday Week 10

This week's Music Monday couldn't have been made easier without someone typing it for me. Simon Pegg, bless him the hero that he is, suggested we all get Fuck You by Cee Lo Green to number across the world. It's actually a good track it NSFW so plug in you headphones and enjoy.



Now get yourself to http://www.ceelogreen.com/ for more information.

Cheers,
R.

"In The Beginning...

...God created the heaven and the earth."

 Let me make something abundantly clear before I go on. This is not an article about religion, God or creationism., but for first line in a book that one's a doozy. For those of you who don't know that definite statement is the first line in The Holy Bible, King James Version (first published in 1611). The book of Genesis goes on to explain how God also created light, the separation of light and dark as days, the "firmament" (which I'll come back to), land, plants, the sun and the moon, sea creatures, mammals, man and finally woman. In that precise order.

There's a song in this picture somewhere.
What makes the story of creation so important and genuinely fascinating for me is the fact it originates 3400 years ago. Many people either don't know or simply forget that the story of creation appears first in the Torah and pre-dates Jesus by a millennia. More so than the age of the story is it's accuracy in many ways.
As I've already said this isn't an article about Religion or creationism and I'm not for one second trying to back up the belief that God created the Earth, but if you remove God from the story and look at the events it details it gets a lot right. That is to say someone 3400 years ago had a grasp of the history of the Earth and the universe to some degree. 3400 years ago!

Let's look back at that list again but remove God. First came the heavens - literally space, then the earth. That's true, not entirely the whole story but accurate none the less. At this point the story refers to water on the earth but no land. Next came light and dark - day and night. While the originators of the story would not know this they had nailed fact number 2: The Earth is rotating causing periods of day and night.
Next comes the firmament, a word translated from Hebrew which refers to an extended solid surface or dome. In the story of creation a firmament is placed to "divide the waters from the waters" and is somewhat confusing until God names the firmament Heaven. Seeing as land is yet to be mentioned the clearest interpretation of this would be that the firmament is the atmosphere. Which ever way you look at it the mentioning of the firmament is the first mistake but for 3400 years ago was a pretty close approximation.
The next big error comes with the formation of land, then the sun and moon?! Science would show it was more likely land first then seas as the planet cooled. After that though things get very interesting.

Little old us!
Plants are the first life mentioned, grass and herbs and fruit trees. God sits back and watches the tree bear fruit and seed and new trees grow. This would be simple knowledge to people of the era, the earliest farms being over 1000 years before them, but the creation of animal life is another matter.


In the story first came sea creatures some of which would make their way onto land. Then came sea mammals, namely the whale, and some of those would also crawl onto land. That's exactly Darwin's theory in a nutshell. While it's highly unlikely the whale was the first mammal (Jonah and the shrew would have been an interesting story!) the idea of life crawling out of the oceans is the science we teach today. Finally, just before putting his feet up, God makes people and gives them the Earth.

To recap then, and this is the bit that blows me away, First came space and planets, then an atmosphere, land and seas. Next plant life, the animal life then humans who took "dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth." For a story that's 3400 years old that's not far off the scientifically believed hypothesises.

While researching this I happened across some very interesting information. For example: there is no consensus as to what came first animal or plant life, some lifeforms cannot evolve and do not show any sign of Darwinian evolution, the oldest farm discovered was in northern Iraq. Also, the story of creation isn't as cut and shut as many people believe and is widely open to interpretation both linguistically and symbolically.

The specific text I referenced is here

As for what I believe that's not for this article, maybe another day,
Cheers,
R.

Saturday 21 August 2010

Things you NEED to know!

by Riley O'Billyo

A third of adults still take a teddy bear to bed.
A survey of 6000 adults by hotel chain Travelodge has found 1 in 3 people still take a teddy to bed. I would assume the other 4000 people in the survey were taking their secretary to bed or some kind of high class hooker!

Special K can be used to cure depression
Unlike normal anti depressants which take a while to become effective and need to be taken daily, ketamine, that's right the horse tranquilizer not the cereal, has been shown in more than one study to have noticeable effects after just one hour and lasts for up to 10 days. The drug was even shown to restore brain-connections damaged by stress. All of which is great when you discount the fact you'd be handing people an addictive hallucinogenic which is used as a party drug in higher dosage and is known to be a date rape drug. Riley O says let them be miserable!

Only 10% of words in text messages are in txt spk
According to some bloke who clearly knows no-one under the age of 20 and didn't think to survey them, only 10% of words in texts are abbreviated or in the much lauded "txt spk" wot jk! omg vis man sum fool or wot?! (excuse me while I bleach my mind in an attempt to forever removed the memory of typing like that)

The Rev's Movie Recommendation Of The Week!

Back in the glorious old days there was an awesome show on ITV on a Sturdays called Movies, Movies, Movies! After a while it changed it's name to Movies, Games and Videos! but the gist was the same. Anyways, to compliment my awesome Music Mondays I have decided to offer you all Reverandglass's Movie Recommendation Of The Week! Wooo!

huh-hmmm... First up is the film that earned Anna Faris the "Stonette of the Year" award at High Times magazine's Stony Awards in 2007. If that's not reason enough to go out a get a copy then read on...
Smiley Face introduces us to Jane F (Anna Faris) on a day when she accidentally gets ridiculously stoned on some contraband cupcakes. What follows is typical stoner movie japes as Jane tries to replace the cupcakes, pay the electric bill and make it to an audition while more baked than the cupcakes that got her in this mess in the first place. Faris gives possibly her best performance to date as the hardcore stonette with all the best intentions and is backed up with an equally strong comedy cast of isn't-that-thingey-from-that-film?s. As ever with these sorts of films our lay-about, waster heroine is lovable enough for you to root for despite her misdeeds and as ever everything wraps up nicely in the end. If you are male, ever smoked weed, are a teenager or just love Anna Faris I urge you to find and love Smiley Face.
Cheers, R.

Monday 16 August 2010

Music Monday - Week 9

When I decided to start Music Monday I wrote four names on a scrap of paper. These were to be the first four bands featured and represent four of the six permanent fixtures on my walkman (mobile phone these days). But then three weeks in I forgot all about my list and started finding new bands to recommend. I made a mistake, I erred, I ballsed up. I'm desperately trying not to segway into the band's name with a terrible pun. The band I shamefully overlooked and bring to you now is Fucked Up.
       Now, I know they've been around for a long time and have been the darlings of MTV and NME in recent times but too few people know about them for my liking. First time I saw them I fell in love with this scary noise monster fronted by a fat, hairy man called Pink Eyes. Their brand of experimental punk combines all that's lovely and frightening about old school punk and all that remains of experimental that didn't disappear up the arse of prog in the seventies.




http://lookingforgold.blogspot.com/

Friday 13 August 2010

Wish me luck!

"Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit." - R.E.Shay

It's funny, when you think about it, how often you'll hear people say, "I never have any luck." or "I never win anything." Quite often you'll find it's their excuse for not buying a raffle ticket or not entering into any sort of competition. More often than not I hear it as an excuse not to play the lottery. Now, there are a few reasons why one may choose to not support Camelot's Lotto but, "I'll never win." is a pretty daft one. If you buy one lottery ticket you have a 1 in 14 million chance of winning the jackpot and approximately 1 in 54 chance of winning something. Neither of these are fantastic odds, you'd be better off playing roulette, but both are better than none. I play the lotto once a week for £1 and up until January 2008 I was definitely in profit thanks to numerous 3 and 4 number wins. I've lost track of the count now but at worst I'm only £100 down which is only two 4 number wins away from profit again. Oh and if any more numbers hit then I'm laughing.

Now I'm sure no-one actually cares about my lottery habits or how much I may or may not have won but the reason I mentioned it is this: There are many competitions out there that we don't enter for all the same silly reasons given above. So I decide this week to enter as many free, no purchase necessary type competitions as I could, hey I might even win something. So far my list of potential prizes is:

2 Avenged Sevenfold signature guitars
A pink Gibson guitar signed by Katy Perry
An iPad
A Dyson blade-less fan
A full 3D home cinema set up (TV, Decoder, Blu ray player, surround sound)
An Xbox 360 and game

If I win any of these I'll be happy (less so the pink guitar but hey) and they've cost me precisely £0.00 to enter. If you believe in luck I might have chosen the wrong time to do this as I didn't win the raffle at the football the other night and the five scratchcards I bought won me nothing, but as of now I might win one of six prizes (or maybe more!) thanks to simply taking the time to enter. Who knows my six not-so-lucky-really-but-I'm-waaay-to-scared-to-change-them numbers may come up tomorrow. There will be joyous celebration if I do, not if I don't.
Cheers,
R.
 
[EDIT]  I've just seen today's date! How appropriate to be talking about luck! Happy Jason Voorhees Day!
Jason takes time out to wonder what numbers to play on Thunderball

Wednesday 11 August 2010

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Monday 9 August 2010

Music Monday - Week 8

It's been one of those weeks where I've got nothing done. I've had a pile of bill waiting to be paid and a stack of emails clogging up my inboxes (that's right I have 3 email accounts to make me feel important!) The one thing I did manage to do, albeit accidentally, was find a band for Music Monday. The Arkhams hail from Queens, NYC and play "rock n roll like you’ve never heard while still respecting your good taste." Their song Insane features on the soundtrack to the videogame Wet which I picked up this week when I should really have been doing more productive things. Sounding like a blend of all good genres that end "-abily" The Arkhams raised a smile in me and instantly transport me to a grindhouse Rob Zombie flick directed by Quentin Tarantino anytime they're on my stereo. As ever, I recommend you check them out!



http://www.myspace.com/thearkhams
http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Arkhams/45282022669

Monday 2 August 2010

Music Monday - Week 7

Sneaking in just in time this week is the band that made my all time favourite album ever. If you don't already own Finelines by My Vitriol go out tomorrow and buy a copy. Despite only having released the one album and a deluxe edition with alternate mixes and b-sides they are still touring and recording. For now here's "Always: your way" (apologies for quality)



www.myspace.com/myvitriol